The best way to make fire with two sticks is to insure that one of them is a match.
Do you think kids go around showing pictures of their parents?
A Project Manager is like the madam in a brothel. His job is to see that everything comes off right.
It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you place the blame.
Looking to buy a tv. Call me if you got one, 995 5282
If time is a great teacher, why does it kills all its students?
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
You may not get what you pay for, but you always pay for what you get.
Those who can - do.
Why do they always start off the evening news with "Good evening" when all they do is tell you why it isn't ?
The lawyer's credo: if you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle'em with bullshit.
The best way to achieve immortality is by not dying.
They don't invite you to the White House for a drink because they think you are thirsty.
In some countries, Chaucer and Dante are the classics. In this
country, it's a soft drink.
It's what you learn after you know it all that counts.
The best way to save face is to keep the lower half closed.
Never argue with a fool...people may not be able to tell you apart.
Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
Bad weather forecasts are more often right than good ones.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes right to the bone.
A day without sunshine is like, night.
When comes the revolution, things will be different - not better, just different.
Even Mason and Dixon had to draw the line somewhere.
Pessimist are always right or plesantly surpised.
There's nothing wrong with #gluttony...providing you don't overdo it.
Would that reason were as contagious as emotion.
A bird in hand is safer than one overhead.
Eternity is a terrible thought...where will it all end
Inside every short man is a tall man doubled over in extreme pain.
When there is no danger in #fighting, there is no #glory in winning.
How long a minute is depends upon which side of the bathroom door you're on.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
The only government handout that I want is the government's hand out of my pocket.
Want to make people angry, lie to them. Want to make them livid, then tell 'em the truth.
You never know how many friends you have until you own a house at the beach.
Women's taste in neckties is as bad as men's in chintz.
The best way to avoid growing old is not to be born so soon.
You only go around once, and there's not enough gusto for everyone.
Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad. #Bastards
If you think that no one cares that you're alive, try missing a few car payments.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
A great deal of money is never enough once you have it.
Never get into a fight with an ugly person. He has nothing to lose.
Behind every successful man is an astonished mother-in-law.
If the gods had really intended men to fly, they'd have made it easier to get to the airport.
Today's conservative is yesterday's liberal who got mugged last night.
It is better to add life to your years than it is to add years to your life.
A fool and his money are some party.
Never marry a woman who prays too much.
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