United wants to charge me $50 for online check in? After charging me $200 Blahaha just lost a customer after this flight #UnitedAirlines
Watching kingsman. Samuel L Jackson with a lithp is the best thing ever
"I just hurt my vagina" things my clients say
"$20 is more than $5" how do you know that? "Because Im smart" -my 3yr old
See you later Gabe! How another trainer you have never talked to makes you feel bad for never introducing yourself
This fight is going exactly how I thought. #GladIDidntPay
My daughter just pushed away this red headed kid trying to hug her. Even at 3, she knows gingers aren't right
Im going to "watch" the fight by listening to my pilipino neighbors reaction round by round
Whenever crosstown traffic by hendrix comes, I just need to roll down the window & hang my arm out
Great work today
To my friends, his nickname is Charmin, because he's SOFT
"Have you ever seen a monkey eff a football? Me either, but Im guessing it looks that ridiculous. " -Me motivating students
My daughter- "Im having soda and beer" After I gave her a sip of root beer
Why is it always the weather that is the default for small talk?
"Actually, Im going to throw up" 2nd morning client obviously had a good session
"Everyone is a little crazy" -my daughter. 3 and already smarter than most people
I judge how busy my day is by how many shirts I go through. 2 down so far
Whenever I hear of something happening in Englewood, I always think "damn you Englewood, why are you always up to no good"
Just watched cinderella. Jon Snow was soft
Do dogs hold pee just to spritz? Walking my dog&he spritz non stop, even after a huge pee
3girls in front of me talking about how famous they are going to be. They are going to be stars, I can tell........wait, no I can't
Today I learned my dog doesn't like me singing reggae loud in his face
"Look daddy, stupid jimmy made that!"
my daughter when the chipmunks come on
Just had an old pilipino woman demand I try turon. Looks delicious and I know better than to argue with grandmother's
Its very rare that I don't wake up with a Disney song stuck in my head #dadlife
Just saw a prius with a Tesla sticker. Is that like putting a Bentley grill on a 300
If disneyland was at the airport, water would cost $50
I like sleep, but like money more. Going to be a long week. #onthegrind
> understand your pain East coast. It's going to rain lightly tonight here in So Cal
"Dogs have the same mindset as a stupid racist" me talking about why my dog hates cats
Meeting w my attorney. I felt my money being ripped out by the min
Client brought me fresh brewed coffee to our am session. He's doing personal sessions right
There is an ebola czar now. We are all saved! ......
Had to use my emergency money to pay for a cash only place for breakfast. That's considered an emergency, right?
Between rocky 4 and rambo 3, the Russian people must HATE Sylvester Stallone
Great work tonight but
working extra hard
Friday night. Out partying? Nah, just got a workout in and have
coming to do a private session
5Pm & its too hot to walk my dog. He came out and turned around
Good seeing you
Just saw a women w 2 huge tattoos. Back said "F LOVE" chest" god forgives I dont" &i thought I was bitter...
"Sorry, 2person minimum for lunch. Call a friend? " how about you have lost my business for good
LA galaxy vs Manchester United? Like watching the globetrotters vs the generals...
Riding a bike while smoking a cigarette. You're doing it wrong!
I dare anyone to try and headlock
Hate to break it to you, but if you drive a miata, you are NOT driving a sports car
Well, you got 3rd
Things my clients say: if my wife loses her job, she basically becomes a prostitute
Have tge riots started yet? Just glad it wasn't an LA team who lost. ...
We can finally go back to not caring about soccer. Nice job USA
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