The Ultimate Fighter Heavyweights Recap: Kimbo Slice Cut Down
This week’s episode opens with roommates Abe Wagner and Kimbo Slice sharing deep thoughts. It’s a different side of Slice than we’ve seen, and it goes a long way towards debunking the thuggish image EliteXC pushed. He comes across as a genuinely thoughtful and reflective guy.
The formerly “uncoachable” Roy Nelson is back in the fold this week and the coaches fine-tune their strategy for beating Kimbo. Rashad Evans says that his confidence is rooted in Nelson’s experience. Keith Jardine makes a guest appearance for…well it’s not clear why he showed up, but it provided Rashad and Rampage with an opportunity to jaw jacking which leads to accusations of dodging fights and stank breath. Rampage baits James McSweeney and Team Rashad shepherds McSweeney into one of the offices so that the situation doesn’t escalate.
Reality Kings gets some sweet screen time with a shot of Kimbo’s custom mouth piece on the scale as Slice – one towel wrapped around his waist, the other draped over his head like a bearded Sister of Mercy – checks his weight. We get a glimpse of Rampage-as-celebrity reporter as he grills Kimbo about his beard, his grooming, and his “yarmulke.”
Tiki Ghosn and Rampage work with Kimbo on his escapes but the fact that he isn’t fully able to execute them is lost in Rampage’s ruminations on the size of Roy Nelson’s belly and the various ways it might affect his quality of life. Kimbo is overwhelmed with last-minute cramming and the coaches cut the session off. Ghosn cuts to the simple truth of the matter, saying that, “[Kimbo]’s gotta let one of those big sledgehammers hit [Nelson].”
At night, Team Rashad gathers by the pool to talk about Kimbo’s deficiencies, describing him as a “bobblehead” who is easily timed for counter punches. In a bit of foreshadowing, Nelson describes getting Kimbo in a crucifix and counting off unanswered blows. “It doesn’t matter if you’re just doing this,” Nelson says while slapping himself lightly. “You got defend yourself intelligently. That’s the rule.”
Team Rampage’s team stresses conditioning in the next training session we see, and it reminds this viewer of TUF 3 when Tito Ortiz’s team was running the table on Ken Shamrock’s squad and Shamrock’s only response was to push guys harder. Marcus Jones walks off the mat because he knee is bothering him and tells Rampage that his knee is bothering him. When Rampage suggest they hold him out of fights until his knee is better he gets indignant and accuses Rampage of not believing in him.
“Big Marcus, he a big man but he sensitive,” Rampage says later.
Back at the house, Jones admits that he is a bit of a hothouse flower and reveals a love of gardening. “Marcus is on his own sh*t,” Kimbo says. Next we see Kimbo and Jones talking about drama that popped off in Miami after Kimbo’s street fighting videos hit YouTube. “It was gun play,” says Kimbo. It’s a mutual admiration society with these guys.
Next is the weigh in which is jazzed up by Dana White’s pre-fight analysis. “[Kimbo’s] going to be trying to knock Roy Nelson…dead,” White says. “Roy Nelson looks like he just left every buffet in Vegas,” he adds, “but don’t let that fool you.”
The hype begins in earnest and we get a training montage of Kimbo while his teammates sing his praises. Nelson’s montage begins and Matt Mitrione is wowed by Nelson’s balance considering how “rotund” he is. “When Roy beats Kimbo that’ll really help Roy get into the UFC where he belongs…even with his bad body.”
Team Rampage spends fight day horsing around and Jackson pulls of his hat to reveal a monkish Kimbo haircut. Another pre-fight warmup/walkout montage and it’s go time. Nelson and Slice feel each other out. Nelson tries to put his hands on Kimbo but Slice clears them and circles out. Not a whole lot happening until Slice slaps Nelson’s leg with a kick. They trade punches that don’t land. Nelson moves forward then retreats. Kimbo lets his hands go, backing Nelson up against the fence, but he doesn’t land a killshot. Nelson clinches and pins Slice against the fence. The fight for position with Nelson trying to get Kimbo down and Slice trying to keep it standing. They careen along the fence and after a more than a minute in the clinch Nelson takes Slice to the mat. Nelson quickly moves to mount, gets his arms inside of Slice’s and goes for a kimura. Slice pulls his arm out but Nelson moves to side mount. Slice pushes off the cage but Nelson regains control and secures the crucifix position and rains down 40-plus unanswered punches to the Slice’s head while Slice lies flat backed. “C’mon ref,” Nelson shouts at Herb Dean as the clock winds down.
The second round gets going quicker than the first and Slice cracks Nelson with a straight right. Nelson immediately looks to get ahold of Slice and the two tussle in the middle of the cage. Slice throws a knee and Nelson bowls him over, landing in side mount. After some resistance from Kimbo, Nelson traps Slice’s arm in crucifix arm again and starts throwing punches while his teammates count them off. Dean stops the fight when the chanting reaches 21. Dana White is not impressed with Nelson’s performance, but failure to intelligently defend is failure to intelligently defend.
After the fight, Nelson asks White and Lorenzo Fertitta for a double Whopper which doesn’t seem to help the fighter’s cause with the UFC brass. “If we fought outside, somewhere else, it would have been a nice little payday, but, um, I was glad to put on a show for Dana and Lorenzo,” Nelson says.
White advises Slice to make the best use of his time in the TUF house and the week ends with a teaser for next week’s episode, which involves Jones having some sort of physical or emotional breakdown and treason on Team Rashad.