Tinsel-Town Invasion

Our world is finally invading their world.

Our world being—well, our world—the world where men walk into a cage and wow the sports universe with feats of fortitude and action unseen anywhere else.

Their world is Hollywood. That’s right; Tinseltown has become infiltrated with the baddest men on the planet suddenly showing off their artistic side. A stone cold killer in Chuck Liddell can now be seen on ABC’s Dancing With The Stars, smiling through a Samba routine donning outfits Liberace would love.

Quinton “Rampage” Jackson recently quit the fight game to become a full-time actor in the role of B. A. Baracus in the upcoming A-Team movie. Rampage has decided Hollywood is much safer than the cage and potentially much more lucrative.

Randy Couture stars in Sly Stallone’s upcoming action flick.

Jay Glazer was in The Longest Yard and The Game Plan (I’m up for Best Supporting nod).

Our world is making a serious dent in their world. While Dana White may hate the cross-over to mainstream entertainment, I think it’s great for our world. Working at FOX actually allows me some insight into some of the networks’ plans. I recently came across some information and it appears we’re just scratching the surface on how integrated we’re all about to become in the world of television and the silver screen.

I came across some big-time plans Hollywood apparently has in the works for other UFC personalities and I just had to share them with ya’ll:

Dan Henderson – Saved By the Bell. He moves to a new school but the drama really heats up when Henderson must wrestle Bayside High’s star wrestler A. C. Slater for the right to have his way with Kelly Kapowski. Slater is completely thrashed by the quiet newcomer but the season takes an odd turn when Kapowski becomes really clingy and needy. Henderson would last just one season as Zach Morris comes up with a plan to rid their school of Henderson’s unwanted drama.

Dana White – Bully Beatdown. Scott Coker, Vadim Finklestein and Monte Cox all plead with host Mayhem Miller to get their bully to just let them be. “He always talks about us on his video blog and it’s like, um, it’s really, um, he’s just so mean to us and he really hurts our fighters’ feelings,” pleads Finklestein. Miller then gets Tito Ortiz to teach this bully a lesson, allowing us to finally see the boxing match that wasn’t. It would be classic! Classic!

Roy Nelson – Nathan’s International July Fourth Hot Dog Eating Contest. The show’s producers were ecstatic after Nelson shattered the previous record before mistakenly devouring the legendary, yet oh so slight, Takeru Kobayashi. Nelson, of course, then turns to the Nathans’ people, laughs, rubs his belly and brags about how easily victory came to him.

Bruce Buffer – The Legend of Ron Burgundy 2. Buffer shows up as Burgundy’s alter-ego as the legendary San Diego newscaster turns to the famed UFC announcer to work on his new sign-off to the nightly news: the ever-elusive Burgundy 720!

Andrei Arlovski – HBO’s True Blood. Arlovski seems like a perfect fit in this vampire series, so incredibly natural playing the nocturnal blood sucker. In fact, Arlovski sets us all back a bit as the entire cast flees the set believing that Arlovski is, in fact, actually a vampire. You’re killing us Andrei. Herschel Walker – The Wonder Years. Ok, that one was for Dana.

Randy Couture – 24. At first Couture seems like a natural to become the newest cast member on the hit show. But years of fighting shockingly take their toll as Couture at one point flips and mistakenly thinks L.A. really is getting attacked by terrorists. In the process, he chokes out three men he thinks are plotting to kill the president. TMZ moles catch the whole thing on camera and Couture’s legend grows yet again.

Chuck Liddell — American Idol. The Iceman comes off a stunning performance on Dancing With the Stars and decides to go on a tour of all the talent shows our networks have to offer. Once again he stars but not for the reason he was hoping. Liddell becomes the next William Hung as Simon and crew absolutely rip apart the worst singing audition they’ve heard in years. An utterly distraught Liddell, battling back from the humiliation of crying on camera for being coldly laughed out of the room, breaks the news to Ryan Seacrest that he’ll return to fighting and use Cowell as his motivation. In the end, it becomes the highest-rated episode in American Idol history.

Brock Lesnar – FOX Sitcom Brothers. This one is twofold, as I’m trying to give a shameless plug for my boy Michael Strahan’s new FOX sitcom on Friday nights. Second, the show needs a white guy. Brock’s gotta be the whitest guy I know. Please help my guy out, Brock.

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