Dear Don

IMITATION = FLATTERY

 

Many moons ago, MMA journalistic pioneer Ben Fowlkes decided it would be in the best interest of humanity to seek the sage advice of the awe-inspiring Don Frye in a column he called “Dear Don.” Since that time, Ben’s idea has been pilfered by websites, media outlets, and magazines under similar guises. FIGHT! would like to thank Ben for his forward thinking, as we poach his brainchild without even having the decency to change the name. Without further ado: Ben Fowlkes presents FIGHT!’s presentation of Dear Don.

 

This is not just a man’s advice column—this is Don Frye’s advice column. The “Predator” won two UFC tournaments before fighter safety was a priority. He proudly represented America in Japan’s PRIDE Fighting Championship, where UFC Hall of Famer Ken Shamrock ripped apart his ankles and still couldn’t stop Frye. Watch Frye fight Yoshihiro Takiyama—if you think you can handle it. If there’s anyone tougher than Don Frye, they’ll be studied in labs. A fighting pioneer, the Arizona native responds to FIGHT! e-mail and shares his infinite wisdom. In his own words: “America needs to build some men, and Don Frye is here to do it!”

 

Dear Don,

  You are one of my all-time favorites! Did growing up in Sierra Vista, Arizona, make you extra patriotic, and do you enjoy fire fighting or fighting better?

—Justin, Sierra Vista, AZ

 

You’re goddamn right. Everywhere I grew up made me patriotic because my dad was in the Air Force. I always grew up on Air Force bases or outside Air Force bases. Makes you goddamn proud to be an American.

 

Both are admirable jobs. You can help people out. Maybe as a fireman you do, maybe not as much as a fighter. But as a fighter, you get to make people happy and more people pay attention to you, like this Dear Don thing. You get to sit there and you get to wave the flag instead of all these pansy-ass liberals who are trying to burn the flag.

 

Dear Don,

   Jack Daniels or Southern Comfort?

—H2HKiller, mma.tv

 

It depends on how much money you have in your pocket, partner. If you got the money, Jack. If you don’t have the money, go with Southern Comfort.

 

Dear Don,

   I don’t need life advice, but I’m the biggest Frye fanatic there is, and I’d like to know who did you not fight in your career that you would liked to have fought?

—Wally, San Jose, CA

 

Mike Tyson. I think I match up perfectly with him, because he’s just a thug—a street fighter who got in there and murdered a bunch of wannabe boxers. He held the title until Holyfield came along and knocked him off. The only thing that saved him in the rematch was a good pair of chompers. I’ve been wanting to do that for over 20 years. That’s why I did the pro boxing thing back in 1989.

 

Dear Don,

   My best friend is hooking up with my ex-girlfriend. I know I’m not with her anymore, but I don’t think it’s right that my best friend is with her either. Am I right?

—Pat, Portland, OR

 

There’s a reason she’s your ex-girlfriend. Give him some advice. If he ain’t smart enough to take the advice and learn from your pain, then sit back, get the fucking popcorn and some beer, and watch the fireworks.

 

Dear Don,

   Whatever happened to the American muscle car?

—Mark, Laredo, TX

 

Ain’t that a shame? Geez, Louise. It’s just like everything else in America—lost their damn balls. They stick too many laws on us. Give us back our muscle cars—without seat belts! That was fun back then when you had a 400-horsepower engine and you had no seatbelts in the car. You had vinyl seats where you’d slide all over the place. No power steering. One of the best parts of those vehicles was the beer holder.

 

Dear Don,

   How is your recovery from back surgery going?

—Jimmy, Johnson City, TN

 

It’s great because GLC2000—a glucosamine drinking formula—is helping restore my bone fission and ligaments. Then I have Growth Hormone Direct, which is a new type of semihomeopathic formula that requires no prescription. It’ll also conquer any drug test out there, so it’s perfect for athletes.

 

Dear Don,

   If you were asked to run a promotion, what advice would you give to make it the ideal company?

—Gerard, Los Angeles, CA

 

Put the fighters first, right up there with the fans. You gotta give the fighters respect, just like you do the fans. Most promoters put themselves up front. It’s a three-way dance: the promoter, the fighter, and the audience.

 

Dear Don,

   My girlfriend won’t even try to cook for me. What do I do?

—Lane, Tulsa, OK

 

Get a new girlfriend.

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