Abe Wagner's Ultimate Fighter Blog: Jensen Has Worse Man-Boobs Than "Titties"

Abe Wagner's Ultimate Fighter Blog: Jensen Has Worse Man-Boobs Than "Titties"

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Following each episode of The Ultimate Fighter Heavyweights, Team Rampage member Abe Wagner will share his thoughts on what happened on camera and behind the scenes.

This week’s episode starts off showcasing Darrill’s drinking. I would have to say that was a bit of creative editing, from the standpoint of that the intervention probably happened on Day 3 that we were there, and this episode mostly takes place on about the third or fourth week of the experience.

Going into this fight selection, I was pretty sure that Team Rashad would pick Jensen because the winner of the sixth fight essentially gets to pick two fights for winning one. So it came as no surprise to me when they picked Zak, errrr, umm Linderman.

At the weigh in, at the Darrill/Rampage confrontation, Rampage said possibly the funniest thing he said the whole time on the show, but it was bleeped out to the point of not really being able to tell what was said. So, what was said in the “Fuck you, no fuck you” conversation was Rampage said “I’ll titty-fuck you”…which at the moment was pretty well-timed and hilarious. But you also have to see Darrill’s point; nobody would want to be called that in general, but especially on national television. It’s sometimes easy to view everyone as just a character on a show, but we are real people with real lives. Right now, what do you think the people that know Darrill are saying to him?

Then there was the when-will-Linderman-snap pool. Everyone, literally everyone had a day. In my mind, it was not a question of if, but when he would lose it; almost like Private Pile at the end of Full Metal Jacket: “I am in a world of shit, Joker!!!”

But the main thing is that no one else in the house would have literally just laid there while everyone was ripping into them. He calls it being a good person, but what he was doing is called being a victim; there’s no honor in allowing yourself to take punishment when you have the ability to defend yourself. If you don’t stand up for yourself, nobody else ever will.

I said leading into the fight that it was a battle of the two guys that we were waiting for to go crazy first. It’s pretty obvious why I said that about Linderman, but Rashad was right, Darrill did have that certain serial-killer-quietness about him. Couple with that the tattoo of a demon holding little girl’s severed head on his arm and an incident involving a baby bird (the video is online if you search for it) and it’s becomes clear why I said that.

In the training montage they show before the fight, when they are showing Jensen finally becoming “hardcore” and a “soldier”, if you watch, you see the coaches laughing as they cheer Zak on. This is because they told everybody to let him do well so that he could get some confidence. At one point you see Demico sprawl on a take down and literally flip over to his butt on purpose to give Zak the takedown. If you rewatch, you’ll see the coaches dying of laughter the whole time.

During the preflight warm up, you’ll note the differing motivational styles of the two coaches. Rashad focused more on positive talk and visualization while Rampage focused on Darrill’s physique and that alone. Making fun of the other guy doesn’t really build up a fighters mind state in my humble opinion. It’s also interesting to note also that in my opinion, had Jensen been on Team Rashad, his nickname would have been “Titties,” being that he was the only one there with worse man-boobs than Darrill. So you have to be able to appreciate the irony of Rampage making fun of Darrill about his breasts to Jensen while Jensen in fact has worse ones.

Then on to the fight. It went about the way I thought it would. It’s my opinion that Zak wasn’t really out-out, or asleep. If you watch right after the ref stops it, his hands move to his head and his head is resting on his forehead very comfortably. I think he drew inspiration from Wes Sims last week when he got passed out. It is my honest opinion that he faked being out. I’m sure the choke was tight, but based on how he acted afterward, there’s no way he was asleep. I’m not sure why he would fake that, but he did.

That’s it for this week. Next week is probably the best fight of the year, so I am personally looking forward to seeing it.

7 COMMENTS

  1. Good recap. I hope Zak learns to stick up for himself after all this. He reminded me more of Karl Childers in sling blade than Schoonover’s Jigsaw.

  2. Abe, you are a loser. You talk smack about your own teammate, and praise Titties like you wish you were on his team. You suck. You are easily the worst fighter on your team. Zak is better than you are. Yeah Rampage can’t coach, you JUST noticed that? So far every loss on your team has been YOUR FAULTS. You guys keep getting submitted and pounded. So far him and Demico did the best. You are quick to point out the fact that they let him take them down in practice? Yeah right. He could’ve taken them down anyway. I could tell this dude has good wrestling just by how he shoots. He seemed to take Titties down as easy as YOU were taken down you moron. I’m surprised they didn’t pick on your nerdy ass with your weird analogies.
    You lost to Jon Madson. The dude looks average at best. Get off your high horse. Adults picking on each other is lame. You don’t know what the dude been through to act the way he is.

  3. You couldn’t even give him credit in a tough loss. Dana even thought it was good. You talk about watching the show again to prove they let him take them down? How about you watch the first episode to see what Dana White said about your dumbass. You should never blog again you fucking dweeb

  4. This has been a terrible season so far,,,,, it’s damn near unfair to be on Rampages team,,,, not 1 real good fight yet.

  5. spot on with your analysis. i noticed zak’s training opponents were being handeled way too easily in an effort to build up zak’s confidence. and i also noticed zak had bigger moobs than darrill. cant help but think the fighters on rampage’s team got ripped off in their training and fight preparation, unless that’s more creative editing.

  6. Jay is obviously a real-life friend of Zak’s. Jay, the show is over. Abe hasn’t been on that ‘team’ for four or five months, so it is ridiculous to claim that he has some kind of obligation to anyone who was on Team Rampage. The team existed for the purpose of the show, it’s not friggin Superfriends out to rid the world of evil injustice. Furthermore, suggesting that Abe the ONLY person to take Linderman under his wing is idiotic, that would’ve brought as much if not more abuse on Abe than Linderman was getting. Nobody else on Zak’s team stuck up for him on the show, so why should Abe? And yet, Abe still pointed out that the titty-talk was demoralizing both to Darrill and to Zak. If that’s not enough humanity for you, go watch soccer you pollyanna. And I did not see Zak ‘easily’ take Darrill down, he barely managed it.

    Abe: the Private Pyle analogy was spot on, but that ‘world of shit’ scene took place in the middle of the movie, not the end. It was at the end of boot camp, before the battlefield scenes and the sniper bitch incident was the climax at the end.

    As for Linderman pounding out his morse-code in that telegraphed triangle, I don’t believe he was faking going out. Yeah he was not out, he was in the process of going out, that much was obvious from the ref’s arm lift, the arm wasn’t completely floppy but it was getting there fast enough for the ref to call the fight. If Zak was faking being out, why wouldn’t he make his arm completely floppy? As soon as the choke is released he holds his head, because he never fully lost consciousness and as soon as the blood began to flow he had his wits about him again (that is, the amount of wits he started with). Besides, why fake it? He was actually pretty close to getting out of it for a while by punching Darrill in the face. Darrill barely knew how to lock that triangle in, and it took him forever to roll into the right position after failing to pull the head down effectively. And why did Darrill keep sticking his arm under Linderman’s leg when he was trying to lock in the triangle? If Zak was a little smarter he couldve taken advantage of what was basically a crucifix gifted to him by Darrill. Darrill didn’t look great in that fight, and with his 10-0 record and all the trash talk about Zak I expected Darrill to walk right through him, but that didn’t happen. Unfortunately Jay is right about one thing, Zak looked better than you did. Whether that was because of the nerves of you going first or the benefit of him getting a few weeks more coaching from your useless coaches, I don’t know, but it’s a fact. And by the way Abe, when that doctor was about to give you a shot before you got stitched up, and you asked “Is it going to hurt?”, that was lame enough, and the doctor says yeah, but then you say “A lot?” Oh my god, even the doctor wanted to call you a pussy, but he held his breath for professional reasons. You just got your head split open and you’re scared of little poke with a needle? Man, you should have slipped one of the tape editors a hundred bucks to leave that on the cutting room floor. Hey I’m just being honest, it seems to me that after such giving such a poor performance you’d want to strive for any chance to redeem yourself, so why weren’t you jockeying with Kimbo to be considered as a replacement? Kimbo was the only one who seemed to want to fight again, where were your pleas for a chance to really show what you can do? You seem like you’d be a great trainer at a gym, but I don’t see the fire in the belly one needs to triumph as a fighter. But if I’m wrong I hope you at least told them you’d like to fight at the finale. I suppose you probably wouldn’t be picked though, because only guys with rivalries get to fight in the finale if they lost on the show.

    I agree with sin, I’m really disappointed in this season so far, especially since so many people said this was going to be the best season with all kinds of crazy stuff going on. So far it’s been pretty boring. They hardly show anything going on at the house, and I assume that’s because nothing was going on at the house. The only interesting stuff has been from Kimbo, it’s cool the way he is so passionate about learning mma. Some of the other guys are so boring I still don’t know their names… I sure hope things get more interesting soon. Like when is Rampage going to tear that door down? We saw that clip at the beginning and it still hasn’t happened. The fact that they had to foreshadow from that far back is a reflection of just how boring this season is. You do realize that the difference between being boring on that show and being goofy is the difference between making scads of dough afterwards or being forgotten about, right?

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